Monday, January 10, 2011


Yesterday I spent my afternoon drinking on the beach with Kitty. We spent our time sitting on the sand and talking to a stranger about life experiences. Although Kitty did most of the talking, I sat and thought to myself, "What is it that I want to do? Where do I want to go in life?" Listening to my friend speak to a stranger about how to make changes in his life. She gave him great advice, stating "in order for you to change your ways, you must be willing to change the people you hang out with." Which is completely true. I thought of all the friends I've had both past and present and realized that those who have left me behind, did it for a legit reason. Even if they didn't know then that they needed a change, they did. Sometimes being around the same people for years can  keep you from growing universally. Just like if you spend your days listening to the same song repeatedly, you have no knowledge of any other great songs out there. Spending your days with the same people over and over can be great, because you have the sense that someone will always be there when you're lonely. But if being lonely means being able to grow universally, being able to experience different things and seeing different perspectives, I think I'd rather be lonely. I'd rather meet new people, learn their stories and listen to them speak, than sticking with the usual crowd. Keeping the company of a stranger just makes me feel more diverse. It honestly sounds much more appealing than spending my days doing the same things over and over. And don't get me wrong, you can still keep the same friends and make new ones. You don't need to be with someone 24/7 in order for you to be close with them. Actually being apart from someone that you are close to can help your relationship with them grow stronger. I've noticed that the longer you spend time with someone, the more you start regretting them. It's human nature to be afraid of loneliness, but it's also human nature to want to venture off from the pack. So why not get over your fear and venture out into the open? 
I say we all try something new this month. Let's all spend a full day by ourselves. Go on an adventure by ourselves and see where the world takes us. Feel what it is like to be lonely and replacing the feeling of loneliness with the feeling of refreshment.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Where do I begin?

                At first this all started off as just a "thing" that I did on my spare time. I would sit here and write on my blog, not caring if anyone read or understood what I was saying. I would just sit here and type out everything I felt at that time. I never showed anyone my blog. But suddenly I started noticing some people following me on my blog. I didn't understand what was so interesting about the things I was saying. Than it came down to some words of encouragement from some friends and family. I would read them my poetry or I would read them some excerpts from my old journal and they'd all tell me the same thing.. "You should make a blog." Ironically I did have a blog.. only I deleted it or forgot the password. Who knows how many abandoned blogs I've made in my lifetime, all I know is this one I am actually going to share.
               What made me change my mind? What made me finally feel the urge to allow others to see what I am saying or to see what I am feeling? Well it all started when I lost a friend. You may be wondering if it was death related.. fortunately it was not. I had a friend whom I cared for so much. I'd set aside my own sadness just to comfort her when she was feeling blue. I would go through all the lengths just to keep her happy.. from letting her crash at my house (even though my parents hated her) to driving her all around town. Never asked for gas, never asked her to pay me back for anything. I'd spend all my money on her, not because I felt sorry for her, but because I loved her and I wanted to share my life with her. She was my best friend. From picking her up and taking her to our favorite bar, allowing her to order anything she'd like to drink that night and paying for both her drinks and mine. It didn't matter to me. Sure she didn't have a job.. sure she didn't really have a home, I still wanted to keep her company. I still wanted to be her friend. No matter the circumstances or even the consequences that I've endured from our friendship, after every big or small argument that we'd get into (and trust me it was every other day) I still accepted her as a friend.
            Now don't get me wrong, she was and still is a good person. The thing that caused us to argue so much was that she had a tendency of getting upset when she didn't get her way. It was like she was still a child at heart. She had the mentality that she was always right and that she always had to have it her way or else. The "or else" resulted to her calling me negative names like "bitch", "whore", etc. And it wasn't like the sarcastic jokes that you'd say to a friend. It was a genuinely rude/ insulting way of saying it. The sad part was she'd mean it and she'd never apologize for uttering those painful words to me, because she had a "legit" reason to make me feel worthless. Throughout our arguments she'd result to saying that my friends were not my friends. That they were all her friends. That I didn't have any friends and that I was nothing without her. Having someone that you care about tell you those things can cause some serious damage to your self esteem, especially if you lack any to begin with. She had a way with making you feel great about yourself as well, but when you made her mad, with just a finger snap she could easily turn your world upside down.
             I'm not really sure why or how she got so good at getting to me. Wether it being positive or negative she knew exactly how to push my buttons. She knew how to make me love her and how to make me resent her. Its like she read my mind and knew exactly what can make me laugh or cry. Which brings me back to why I decided to share my thoughts with you. I woke up one morning after breaking up my on and off again relationship with my best friend and I thought to myself, "I really don't want anyone else to feel as horrible as I do right now."I came up with a wonderful and hopefully successful idea, to make a blog based on self empowerment. A blog based on experiences from myself and people I know, a blog that would help woman of all ages overcome their own insecurities and there own issues in life. With this idea, I decided to include two of my close friends to join me on this journey of self empowerment and of helping others who need any type of assistance. I will be doing my part by sharing my thoughts and other's thoughts about everything that comes to us in life. Wether it being friendships, relationships, self- doubt, family, motherhood, anything you name it.. I will have something to say about it and with my thoughts I will give the best advice that I can think of.
             As for my two friends, Kitty will be giving us weekly fashion tips. It won't be the typical "Oh yeah you can afford this simple sexy black dress that is actually $100 dollars or more..." Like those stupid websites that tell you "We know bargain." No.. Kitty is a very very great bargain hunter and a very very good stylist. She seriously changed my wardrobe from "Wow you're still in high school" to "Wow you are one sexy woman." Not only that but she is both beautiful inside and out. She could seriously make you love yourself and realize that you don't need to be perfect. Now for my other dear friend, Cherry. Cherry is a very fun-loving person. She is always laughing and always surprising me with new funny remarks. She started off really shy at first and now I just can't seem to get her to shut up most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I love that about her. Cherry is studying to be a nurse and you know what that means right? She knows a lot about health. So she will be giving us weekly health tips.
            Our blog name is "Quel que soit sera" which means "Whatever will be, will be" in french. The reason for this name is because we've come to the realization that the world will be the way it is, we cannot change the world and the only way to change something negative in our lives is to look deep into our souls, love ourselves and to change the type of people we are surrounding ourselves with.  Our goal is to reach as many women as we can in the world. To be a positive guiding light to women of all ages. If you have any ideas or need any help on anything feel free to ask us. We are here to help. With that said, thank you for your time and remember, "Quel que soit sera.."


I forgot to mention that this blog is not only here to help women of all ages.. it is here to help anyone of any type. Wether it being a single parent or a gay man. Anyone is welcome to acquire our assistance!